It’s 4 am and my brain is burning

July 27, 2009 at 5:42 am (Belly Dancing, Teaching, Transformation, Yoga) (, , , , , , )

Lit. On Fire. WHOOSH. 

Can you hear it crackling?

The smoke, the heat, they keep me from sleeping.  (And it doesn’t help that there’s a tiny monster laying on my chest and his whiskers keep going up my nose.)  So there’s nothing for it but to get up and let the fire burn its course. Fire 1

I taught teaching today, one of my favorite things.  I’m kind of a pyromaniac that way… I like lighting people on fire… especially those who are going to light other people on fire. 

Have I mentioned that some of my Denver friends call me Cat?  Nothing to do with my name, or with the furry monster on my chest. 

It’s short for Catalyst…

Things are whatever they are, and they remain that way until you add a catalyst, and then things start happening.  Something chemical.  A chain reaction.  Heat, light, fire. 

WHOOSH!

Have I mentioned I love teachers?  One of the best things is teaching teachers, because once lit, they light up others.  Chain reaction.  So very cool. 

Today my students were teachers, Belly Dancing and Yoga.  The first of today’s Big Questions is one of my favorites…  Why Do You Do What You Do?  Dance?  Yoga? 

And people gave some real truths in answer: Because it’s fun; Because in it I find acceptance, of myself and others; Because I feel beautiful; Because I feel at peace; Because it is a way to create and express myself; Because I feel healthier; Because I feel better in and about my body when I do.

Because I love it.

And here’s where I need to say… No.  You don’t.  You do not love yoga, or dance. 

You think you do, but you don’t.  The “it” is not the object of your love… you do NOT love yoga or dance.

What you really love is Who You Are when you do it. 

The dance, the yoga, it is a vehicle.  It is the way, the path, the mechanism.  It is Your way, it is what is working best for you right now, and may always be what works best for you, but it is still just a tool. 

Consider this… when I taught ballroom dance for a living, nobody ever came in because they needed to learn to waltz.  They THOUGHT they needed to learn to waltz… but… did they really?  Was it that they needed a box step and a hesitation and an underarm turn to make their life complete? 

Really, I just desperately NEEEEED a box step! Pleeease!  I am not whole until I have one!

Or did they need what those moves were going to give them?   The ability to go and do something fun with their spouse? The confidence to talk to a beautiful woman and know they were going to be able to entertain her?  The knowledge and relief they would not look like fools on their wedding day?

What you really love is Who You Are and How You Feel when you do it. 

It’s like strawberries.  I say I love strawberries.  But really, is it that I love them?  Or is it that I love the sensation of their taste?  The feeling of delight that comes from looking at their shiny redness? The stimulation of feeling their smooth and stubbly brail exterior? The sweet and sour satisfaction of eating them?  What I love is the sensation of strawberries.  I am grateful for their existence, but what I love is how I experience them.

AzizaLgWhat you love about yoga, about dance, is how you experience yourself and the world and others when you do it.

So… to my teachers I say… what is it, really, that you love?

Because once you know that, you will know what and why you teach.  And then you can really teach it.

… can you hear the crackling? Feel the heat?  Smell the smoke?  I can…

Aziza

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2 Comments

  1. kathysutterlin said,

    Aziza, That is so beautifully said. I DO love who I am when I practice yoga. The practice brings out the essence of ME! I love your analogy of the strawberry. Thank you for a thought provoking entry.

  2. Aziza Sa'id said,

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